March is the new January

I think I need to start things over. As usual, I'm as slow as a fat feedee eating a vegetable to work out why. So let me break it down, street style. I'd add some kind of hip buzz word I learned recently but because I suffer from being both slow and as un brain spongy as our kitchen cloth that hasn't been changed for months, I can't and won't. I like listing things, so here are my petty and insignificant problems in no particular order:

1. I have a severe lack of friends - looooooooser.
2. I'm not enjoying work - fucking credit crunch
3. I'm feeling a bit less wondrous about my usual London activities - am I becoming a dried up, cynical Londoner?

Now don't get me wrong I am:

1. Not wanting to go home
2. Giddily happy despite the afore mentioned problems
3. Can't think of a third but I wanted the two lists to be complementary

Instead of actually telling people how I was feeling, I adopted the stiff British upper lip and decided to try and keep it in. Ok, I'm lying. Like I can ever not over share. It was more like I hadn't actually worked out what was wrong (see first paragraph). But then as soon as I told everyone, as in about 6 people, I started to feel better.

I'm into changing each year to make it better than the last and I guess over the last couple of months, I haven't known what to do with this one. I guess the difference with this year is that London feels even more like home and more in the sense that there is routine, there are roots, there are bills. I also feel like I'm trapped in a job that is making me feel like I'm treading water because of the stupid economy. I'm just not as starry eyed about London despite still loving it. I guess I just miss that wonder that it first gave me.

But enough of that analysing shit. If London is feeling like home, maybe I should be embracing that. Maybe I'll actually buy another set of sheets so I have two! Maybe even commit to a phone plan. Ok, I have hardly any of the original OZ/NZ 07-08 crew here. Fine. Maybe I should actually make more of an effort to make some English friends. I can fully assimilate. Yes, having mindless arguments about customer journeys and being in meetings where people actually use phrases like 'let me just post fit that in' is making me want to stab myself in my eye with the closest possible blunt object. However, I can use my brain outside work and I should be using it. So to start, I'm going to blog everyday this week. It may be boring, but it will be words on a page.

If there were two me's I'd totally be chest bumping myself.