Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Cheek Teasers

I have a gripe. Now you may not think it's a big deal and it certainly doesn't keep me up at night but it's kind of annoying and really, I'm just in a sharing kind of a mood. Let me preface this gripe by saying I am not a huge kissy or huggy greet/goodbye kind of a person. If the situation calls, I'm into it, but I'm not really the initiator. It's not that I am a cold hearted greeter/goodbyer - I just don't think to do it.

Ok, so let me set the scene. You meet up with someone you know who is a kissy greeter, they go into kiss you and then you get nothing but cheek. No noise, no contact not even that yucky feeling of stray saliva on your cheek. Nada. They go in for the kill but then don't deliver the kiss. Why go to kiss someone if what you really want is cheek to cheek contact? It's not right to lead people on, finish what you started. Cheek teasers.

Monday, October 09, 2006


So imagine me innocently walking home. It's a Saturday morning, the sun is shining and I'm sure a bird is chirping somewhere. I've just finished the weekly food shop and I'm pushing my co-purchased grannyesque shopping trolley named Black Betty (who incidentally hates me, but we won't go into that now) home. Then it comes out of nowhere. I have a nineties fashion flashback.

This evil memory sneaks out of the crevasse I had so conveniently filed away under 'never remind me of this again', and it comes back so vividly I actually cringe. Even as I am about to type 'it' I feel like shuddering. Ok, here it is. I actually donned a pair of black Buddy Holly style glasses with blue lenses when I was 14. I have no idea why it was even remotely cool at the time. All I know is that EVERYONE had a pair. In my usual trying to be cool but never quite hitting the mark, I bought a pair that were a little too Nana Mouskouri and not enough Buddy like. If my memory serves me correct I may have worn them with my Docs. But again, not quite hitting the mark my Docs were nowhere near scrubby or grungy enough to be cool. I think they may have even been shiny...

If this wasn't traumatic enough, this terrifying moment turned into a double whammy. I had a Saturday night out outfit flashback. Now, let me preface this by saying I was 18 at the time. And at this time there was none of this I'm 18 but I dress and act like a 25 yr old. In the 90's we did not look or act mature. Ok, so enough stalling. I went out (to The Plant for all of you who know the once 'place to be' on a Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday night) in a mini skirt, white platforms and white tank top saying 'Boy Toy'. At least I matched?