Penis Update

I have been inundated with requests (two) for an update on Penis.

Yesterday afternoon, Penis was up to his old tricks. Partner Dan's usually good natured demeanor was rattled when he slammed* his pen down and said:

'You alwight there?'

No, PD doesn't have a speech impediment (although debatable) but I wanted to get his Englishness across for my international (5 including mum) readers.

Penis replied:

'I'm just trying to steal some ideas'

Argh, he's such a dick muncher!! Dan has now tried doing the same to him, this has unfortunately bombed, resulting in enforced Dan and Penis conversation about Penis' boring work. Sucker (Ha! Sucker).

While we're on the subject, I was working quite intently this afternoon, you know, saving the world etc, when I heard this noise:

'Mumble ggrrrraaah, grahhhhh, thesfghkldjfds, grahhhhhhhh, grrrraaaahh mumble.'

I looked around. I looked behind. I looked in front. And there it was again. That noise.

'Mumble ggrrrraaah, grahhhhh, thesfghkldjfds, grahhhhhhhh, grrrraaaahh mumble.'

I looked around. I looked behind. I looked in front. I looked to my left. Penis was talking to me.

I imagine this is what alien communication will be like if a. they exist b. defy light year travel

I wished he'd learn all 'chit chat' is done through Partner Dan. We're like good cop/silent cop.

* huge exaggeration