Do we ever learn?

Sure, most of us register when we’ve made a mistake, give ourselves a mental slap and think not to do it again, but do we actually ever learn? And by learn, I mean, never do again? Most of the time, probably not. For example, my iPod earphones broke. Again. There are several lessons to be learned from this. The first came about 8 months ago after I was generously given another pair after I had trashed my first ones. These earphones are delicate creatures and don’t deserve to be yanked out of my bag chord or ear piece first. They should be wrapped lovingly around my iPod after every use. Maybe in a blanket or one of those iPod sock things. They should not be thrown into my bag with lunch that leaks over them. I’m a bad iPod mother.

So obviously after trashing my first pair I didn’t learn my lesson and my second pair were treated even worse than their predecessors. Whoops. After trying to listen to music through the only working right ear piece which was hanging from the weird coloured wires, I gave in and went to buy some new ones. Now, I think we can all agree that Apple iPod earphones are a rip off. £20 – pu-lease. Anyway, so I had my brand new ones in my hand, ready to pay when I spotted another pair; a cheaper, but seemingly just as good pair. If only I could turn back time. How many times has the cheaper, inferior product been better? NEVER. This was no exception. After hacking the box open so I could resume my listening pleasure, I realised that these ‘block the outside noise’ cheap pieces of shit didn’t fit in my ears. Unless I have abnormally small holes (yeah, yeah - funny), I’m pretty sure I’m doing some serious damage every time I try and wedge them in my ears - like a pre-op fatty trying to fit into a pair of skinny jeans. Now that I’ve spent way too long explaining my earphone lessons, here is a shorter breakdown of other lessons I’ve learned but not necessarily retained:

- When I try to hurry I take way more time
- I should never try a ‘new’ hair do before I go out
- I will never eat ‘just a bit’ of something
- When I try and be nice it looks really insincere
- Every time I go into the Tate modern I get angry and sleepy

That’s all I can think of so far.