His name is Penis

As I embark on my 5th week of freelance, I am stopping to take a moment to think of the lack of penises I've met along the way. All but one penis, with whom I am currently sitting on the same table.

For the sake of continuity, let's just call him Penis.

Now we, as in me and my work partner, met Penis on our first day at our new gig. He seemed ok, but he was a big talker - a lot of talk to say not much. And a starer. Both of these attributes tire me.

For the first three days, we were away from Penis. Life was good. You know, quiet. Now, on day six, we are both tired of the Penis with his talking and staring. But why this dislike you may ask? Well, firstly, he's nosey. Secondly, he has an annoying voice. Thirdly, he has one of those jobs that he's clearly made up himself. Fourthly, he whinges about working hard. Welcome to advertising d-wad.

Today, Partner Dan (I'm not sure where this name has come from but I'm feeling kind of Western) was scamping. As I was image searching (sorry for the boring detail), I noticed Penis doing his usual peering. I kept my eyes straight except to check whether Partner Dan had clocked Penis. PD was scamping very intently, refusing to look up, which was unusual, as PD will usually find any excuse to be entertained by anything else other than work. After a good THREE minutes of staring without results, Penis went back to his work.

Me to PD [whispering]: Did you...

PD: Yes..

Enough was said. We continued working silently, in unity, to defer any entry Penis might have into a conversation.

Penis defied. Take that Penis!