Snot and social fishing

You know when you get sick and you can't remember what it was like to be well? You wish for the day you can breathe out of your nose. You swear you will never take a clear nose for granted. You wake up with a film of saliva around your teeth and if you're really lucky, your lip stuck to your top tooth. You sweat out of one armpit, you leak out of your left eye and make a mountain of tissues that makes even your loved one feel repulsed. You'd even prefer to go to [insert shithouse job] work than feel like this. And then, as life goes, you get better, the snot lessens, you go back to solid food, can get to sleep without waiting for that pop of air that lets you breathe for the night and you forget your promises.

But lets all take a moment to appreciate our good health.

Done? Ok, let's continue.

I was at a house party last night. I've decided I quite enjoy saying weird things and gauging people's reactions. It's like social fishing with a quicker return. It's not really intentional, as I can't quite manage my filter at the best of times, but it's nice to establish what level you're at with people immediately. So last night, I was talking this dude who smelt a bit like a very mature farmhouse cheddar. He had a mouthful of teeth and a full head of peppered hair. I think his name was Lou but I always forget to listen to people's names. Like most gents with peppered hair, he had very dark eyebrows and eyes. Think Steve Martin. At approximately the three minute mark of the conversation, I told him that I had a dream where I pissed all over my face. To me, saying this is normal. To others, it's weird and unsettling. I get their point, it's not everyone's cup of tea, but if I had a choice between talking about the weather or piss, I'd choose piss any day. In the end, it was a successful dip in the water, he enjoyed it, we all laughed and there was a bit of fun banter to follow.

And then he left the party pretty much straight away...