Alone

For the first time in god knows how long, I'm home alone. I can hardly believe it. In almost three years in living in London, this will probably be the first time it has ever happened. How bizarre is that? There are no housemates to be heard, nothing but me and my soup (homemade vegetable by the way) boiling on the stove. It's not bad, not good, just strange.

When I first moved out of home seven years ago, I lived by myself. Looking back, it was kind of a ballsy thing to do. Let's take a moment to pat the 21 year old Vanessa on the back. Ok, back to the story. The thing is, I loved living on my own. I would definitely put it in the box labeled 'good decisions I've made'. I think the ability to live by yourself and enjoy your own company is one of those important life skills schools threaten to give you, but never do. Home Economics? Yea, I make gingerbread houses all the time. Algebra? Yep, I often check the trajectory of the ball while playing table tennis. Actually, for that last sentence to be accurate I would have had to understand algebra first before applying it to ball sports.

Since my first stint, I've lived with various people, again, another great life skill. For someone who is as intolerant as me, I got to practice restraint and emotional internalisation. Both fine life lessons. Sure, when one of your housemates is pissing you off, sticking your finger up to the wall with the door closed is both a mature and effective way to deal with the situation.

So now, here, at home alone in London, it's a bit strange. We have no tv and I have no book I want to read. I've made soup and entertained the thought of making some biscuits. So I write in my blog and this is good, perhaps I'll even write a story, but it won't stop that slight lingering feeling of loneliness and tiny feeling of homesickness that I've felt all day. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it sucks. Today was another day of work, of gloves, a cold nose, of talking to my friends and family on the internet rather than in person and another birthday I missed. My only two friends in the city aren't here and if it was any other day, I wouldn't even be bothered by any of this. It's just one of those days I guess. Listening to Ben Lee's more depressing stuff probably isn't helping either.

It is nice having time alone, just strange when you haven't had it in a while.