Back, just for a second

An old school friend killed herself a couple of days ago, which, as you can imagine, is shocking, sad and, well, just plain shit.

As much as I bullshit about how I'm getting old, this was a reminder of how young I am and she was and how much more she life she still had in her. To think of how sad and desperate she would have felt that she had no other choice to end her life is just unimaginable and unbearable.

It's surreal being so far from a bad, sad or disastrous situation. You feel detached and helpless. And even though there is nothing I can do, all I want to do is teleport myself home and just see people. Just for a second. I simply want to remind myself that you are all still there. It's like I can physically feel the distance in my chest when I truly stop, think and feel sad. I yearn to see my school friends now, to bridge that ten years we've just had and go back to when the future wasn't so hazy and parts of us hadn't yet been broken.