Smile

Ah smiling. That old chestnut. Life's official representation of 'happiness' and also the cause of me wanting to seriously hurt people at various social situations from about the age of 14 onwards.

People: 'Why don't you smile more'?

Me: 'Because I don't have a naturally upturned lips dipshit'.

Argh. Why do people have the need to say this to me. My favourite is when I'm out and some dickhead will come up to me and say:

'You have such a pretty face, why don't you smile more, aren't you having fun'?

Or sometimes it's more succinct:

'Smmmmile'.

Grrrr.

What is the point of saying this to me? Am I going to turn around and say, 'geez, I can't believe I haven't been constantly smiling since I arrived in this fine establishment with so many sleazy and leering men like yourself. But thanks for pointing it out. Wanna shag?'

Puh-lease.

I'm still waiting to think of a comeback that is cutting, witty and will not result in some kind of violent stalker. Hmmm.

But despite the word 'smile' being the sometimes baine of my existence,it's kind of an interesting thing here. Smiling at someone and them smiling back is one of the nicest feelings you can have when it's spontaneous, natural and felt. A girl smiled at me on the tube the other day and I smiled back. And I felt good. Then, feeling inspired, I looked around for another smiling target. The closest person was this old dude with those broken red capilleries around his cheeks and spiky white hair. I suspect he had that yucky old man smell, but undeterred, I smiled at him at a totally non condescending but in a hey, I am the youth of today and I am smiling at you with respect old man, kind of way. He glared at me for a bit and then went back to his paper. Oh well.

Smiling is lovely but it's not the only sign of happiness. Why do you have to have to smile for people to know you're happy? Damn my naturally snarly mouth.

This week has been the most amazing week of weather in London. It's been warm, and I fear, I am turning into a Londoner. I can't stop gushing about the weather and I actually find 24 degrees kind of hot. I know, I'm embarrassed. Today I walked to Borough Markets, picked up some cheese, bread and friends and then went for a picnic in the park with the frisbee. I really want to be a awesome at it, but due to my bad hand/eye coodrination/blindness as well as my inability to do the frisbee 'flick', I kind of suck at it. But everyone else sucked too, we all maybe caught it and threw it straight twice.

Now, I'm sitting in my beautiful, airy kitchen, drinking wine, listening to music and eating biscuits. Later, I'm going to make some muesli, watch a dvd and read a book. I can't wait!!!!! My surly face is happy. On the inside, of course.