There is a guy who just started this week as a copywriter in the team I have been freelancing in. He has worn this maroon knitted jumper everyday this week but that's not the problem, it's just an observation of a poor choice in colour when you're a ginger nut with curly hair. Anyway, my problem with him is more the fact that he spends a lot of the day with his chair pushed back with a 'thinking' face on. I bet he's thinking about his pet hamster (if he had one) or what he's having for lunch. He looks like that guy who always appears in movies as 'the ugly friend'. There's just something about him that bugs me. Oh, and he sighs a lot. Like A LOT. Usually when he's 'thinking'. Oh, and he keeps on opening the window. Meanwhile my cuticles have gone purple cause I'm so cold.
In other news there is a toilet at work that really is just too small to be a cubicle. When you sit or hover you bang into the toilet paper dispenser. It's seriously uncomfortable and you end up having to do some kind of shoulder droop in order to fit.
Still on work, there is guy whose team I am going to be in and while he's probably been the most friendly to me out of everyone here I have no idea what his name is. I'm thinking it's a bit rude to ask seeing as though I've been talking to him for almost a month now. HA - whoops.
In equally uninteresting news, I was in a briefing session the other day and the girl who was talking kept on drawing up the spit in her mouth after every sentence. Bloody English, if I was at home we would have all taken the piss after, but no one else seemed to notice.
OOOOOOh, did I tell you all that I say a guy on the tube with the biggest ears EVER? They were so big, like think of the biggest ears you've ever seen and then triple it. Oh, and Skinner and I bought rice pudding in a can for 19p - what a bargain!!!
Finally, what is with the English and their greetings? They are totally confusing me. For example, instead of saying 'hello' or 'how are you going' it is:
'Hiya' - this is ok, but if I start saying this I am going to have to wash my mouth out with soap
'Alright' - good thanks? Yes? Yes and you? This is a tough one..
'You alright' - you can't say good thanks, it just doesn't work..
'Hi youright' - even with the 'hi' it makes my response too long...'hi, good thanks and you?'
Hmmm this post has been stimulating.
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Five things about me that will not help you sleep at night
Most people think I'm unfriendly. While I have an extensive list of people I dislike, this assumed unfriendliness is born from my refusal to wear glasses. I also have overly pouty lips from over sucking my thumb as a child.
I overuse the word 'basically'.
I will never be friends with anyone who wears a fat pin striped suit.
I have abnormally flappy arms when I walk.
I'm consistently average at most things.
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10 comments:
I've struggled with "You Alright?" for the entire time we've been here.
Then, the other day I had a breakthrough moment. A girl at work said: "Hiya, you alright?" and I replied, "Yeah, you alright?" and it was as if I'd finally assimilated. It was seamless and somehow magical.
If you can't beat them, join them.
An epiphany, no less. A seamless assimilation and yet still managing to sound non-indigenous. Well done Vic.
The appropriate response (from a smartass point of view) would be "No.. I just shat my pants" that gets rid of them quick!
Also remember that 'buddy', 'mate' and 'BIG FELLA' are all your best friend when it comes to 'the man with no name'. Gets you out of many a jam!
Also have you noticed that ginger nuts have a universal inability to clothe themselves correctly, so as not to draw attention to their heads?
I've just smacked myself in the head with utter wonder and amazement. That's perfect! I just need not to be thrown by the 'hiya' (as in feel the need to repeat it) and then I'll be alright.
Ohhhh - the actor I was trying to describe was Paul Giancarlo (I think that's how you spell it)
Stew - I'm trying to make friends not scare them with involuntary bowel movements! 'Shat' will not help the cause but thanks anyway, the thought was there.
oh.
So that's what I'm doing wrong.
It's really so simple when I think about it...
Just go with G'day. It says hi, how are you?, I have no desire to learn your name and more importantly...I am not from around here. It is as equally retarded as You Alright but its Australian. xotp
Trouble is, I NEVER say 'gday'. It would be wrong of me to start now. It would be like fraud. I'm just saying 'hi' now and totally ignoring the rest of the greeting.
Very Adelaide....
Oooooer
That wasn't meant to sound derogatory, merely an observation. Rarely if ever do I get a "G'day" in return I greet people. Maybe it's the suburb I live in, but invariably the response to my G'day is a breathy "Hi".....
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